A Virginia art teacher, Stephen Murmer, was suspended after objections were raised about his private abstract artwork, much of which includes smearing his posterior and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas.

Apparently, the ‘beans were spilled’ after students saw his cable show on local access. On that show (2003) he appeared incognito. The show has since been cancelled. In a clip from the show, available on YouTube.com, Murmer dons a fake nose, glasses, a towel on his head, a black thong and nothing else.

As Sam would say…ew!

In response to questions about his disguise, Murmer said: “I do have a real job where I do have real clients and I don’t think they’d be too understanding if I was also the guy who painted with my ass.”

Ya think?

On his web site, his creations run upward of $900. His most popular piece, “Tulip Butts,” goes for $600.

How precious.

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