I have no idea if the following quotes are real or not but they’re funny…
‘I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not
pleased to read the description in the catalog: “No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt
‘The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good
ending; and to have the two as close together as possible’.
–George Burns
‘Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year’.
–Victor Borge
‘I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury’.
–Groucho Marx
‘I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back’.
–Zsa Zsa Gabor
‘Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat’.
–Alex Levine
‘Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP’.
–Joe Namath
‘I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap’.
–Bob Hope
‘I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it’.
–W.C. Fields
‘Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… as you grow older, it will avoid you’.
–Winston Churchill
‘By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
–Billy Crystal
AND my favorite:
‘Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,”Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.”
–Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
Tracked with: Planck’s Constant, Conservative Cat, third world county, The Dumb Ox, RightLinx, History Mike and Common Folk Using Common Sense
